Top 20 jokes for your Hen Party

Here are some great jokes for your hen party

If you can’t be sexist on your hen party, then when can you be?

20 Jokes about Men!

1. Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and then it’s our job to stomp all over them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we don’t mind having dinner with.

2. If they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they put the whole lot there?

3. How do you make your husband wake up with a smile on his face on Monday morning?
Tell him a joke on Friday night.

4. How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to screw it in, and four to listen to him boasting about it afterwards.

5. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?

6. My boyfriend keeps a record of everything he eats. It’s called a tie

7. Which words do women hate to hear when they’re enjoying great sex?
“Hi honey! I’m home!”

8. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because he categorically refused to ask for directions.

9. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

10. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

11. How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely fit your finger in between his neck and the noose.

12. Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

13. Why are men like lava lamps?
They’re fun to look at, but not all that bright.

14, What do men and tights have in common?
They either cling, run, or don’t quite fit in the crotch area.

15. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four blokes watching the football.

16. What’s the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

17. What’s the quickest way to a man’s heart?
Straight through his rib cage.18. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.

19. Why do doctors slap babies’ bottoms right after they’re born?
To knock the willies off the clever ones.

20. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They already have boyfriends.